Learn to Recognize Your Happiness

Happiness.... it's something that we all want and strive for.  But was is it?  Can it be attained?  Merriam-Webster define happiness as "a state of well-being and contentment :  joy".  Did you notice that it's not defined as a boat load of money?  It's not defined as a big house.  It's not a new car or a nice vacation.  No, it's a state of well-being and contentment.  Now some of these material things may provide for that well-being and contentment but we don't need them for happiness.  

It's important to recognize those moments throughout the day when you feel contented and start to recognize them as happiness.  It may be a fleeting moment but it was happiness.  You attained happiness for that moment.  It feels pretty good doesn't it?  That moment may be time spent snuggling with you spouse, kids, or pets.  It might be time spent relaxing.  It might be enjoying a cup of coffee either by yourself or with a friend.  What makes you feel content?  Learn to recognize that feeling.  That's happiness.  Once you recognize it, you can start to create more of those happy  moments.  You are then starting to create your own happiness.   And as Nataly Kogan says, 

"Life is made of moments. Choose to create and collect the happy ones." 

Do you know your neighbors?

I happened to look out one of my windows yesterday just as several cars pulled up to a neighbor's house.  The occupants of the cars were all carrying flower arrangements into the house.  My first thought was they're having a party.  Then as the processional of flowers into the house continued, I realized No, there's been a funeral.  I quickly went online to check what funerals were scheduled for that afternoon and hoped to I find that the funeral had perhaps been for an elderly parent of the couple that lives in the house.  But much to my dismay, no it wasn't an elderly parent.  No, it was my neighbor who had passed away.  She had passed a week earlier at age 51.  51!!  That's my age!  How sad!  How very sad for the family. 

But what has bothered me most since I learned about this is the fact that I didn't know.  This woman has been my neighbor for 22 years.  We smiled & waved; had brief conversations on occasion.  But, I didn't know she was sick.  Now that I think about it.  There were some clues that things were different at their house.  I just hadn't put the pieces together. 

But darn it!  What has happened to our neighborhoods?  Why don't we know our neighbors any more?  I know a few of ours.  And we've been close friends with a few through the years.  Why do the good ones always move away?  But really, I don't know my neighbors and they don't know me.  Is this a good thing or a bad thing? 

Yesterday, it felt like a bad thing.  It felt inhuman.  It felt very isolating.  With social media I know what someone that I went to high school with had for breakfast or where they're vacationing this year even though I haven't seen them in 30+ years.  But I didn't even know that my neighbor was ill and had passed away a week ago.  Really?  This saddens me.  I don't yet know how to fix this, but I'm going to do some things differently going forward.  It might seem old fashioned and it might not be welcomed by everybody, but I'm going to try to get to know my neighbors better than I know them now.  I'm going to start with sharing some of the abundance of lettuce that I have in my garden right now. 

Do you know your neighbors? Would you know before seeing it in the obituaries that one of them passed away? 

It's All in How You Ask

Yesterday, I received an email requesting the submission of some information.  This was a request for information that I'm supposed to submit annually.  So there was nothing wrong with the fact that I was being asked but it was the way that I was asked that really irked me.  I've been a member in good standing of this organization for 8 years.  I have always supplied this particular information in a timely manner without being asked. Not to mention, that I have never missed even one weekly reporting submission in the past 8 years.  And yet, I felt like none of that mattered when the email read something like this, "Pursuant to Clause 5e of your agreement with XYZ Corp., date on March 28, 2006, may we please have a statement of blah, blah, blah."  Really?  You felt it necessary to cite chapter and verse to me regarding this?  

Ever since I received this email, I've been thinking about how it's all in how you ask.  In this case, they got their desired result.  I sent the information today with a very curt "see attached" response.  They don't know that I'm irked about the whole thing.  So I guess for them it's all good.  And I can argue that I need to be in control of my thoughts and reactions, so it's my problem, not theirs, that I'm irked.  But, my take away from this is that I need to be conscious of how I ask for things in both my  business life and my personal life.  

 I would  have felt and responded completely differently if the email had read something more like, "We haven't received your annual submission of of blah, blah, blah.  Perhaps it's an oversight since we've always received it in past years.  Please submit this at your earliest convenience.  Thank you for being a valuable member of XYZ."  I probably would have even been apologetic for being late with the information.

Ok, maybe it's just that I'm from the school of "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar."  But it doesn't cost anything and really doesn't take any more time to be considerate in our communications with vendors, customers, employees and even family.  Why risk upsetting someone or allowing them to read more into a request then you intended? Why not show some courtesy and let them know that you value the relationship?  When asking someone for something, even something that they should have already sent to you, give them credit for what they've done in the past and ask nicely.  

So leave a comment and let me know what you think!  Just kidding!  What I meant to say was, thank you for reading this post.  I really appreciate it and I'd love to know what you think. 

Does Money Create Happiness? (Part 2)

Yesterday, I concluded that money does play a role in my happiness. It allows me to create a state of well being and contentment (the definition of happiness). And having enough money to provide for more than my daily needs gives me the option to pursue other things that contribute to my happiness.

Is there ever a point where more money doesn't equate to more happiness?  Again, I would say, "Yes."  You could end up trading happiness for more money.  I know that was certainly the case when I worked in corporate America.  I had more money, but I wasn't happier than I am now.  And there are things that I have in my life that I wouldn't trade for all the money in the world.  Oddly enough, one of those things is my cat.  He brings me so much happiness.  Money couldn't replace the joy he brings to my life.  So, although money can contribute to my happiness, my happiness isn't all about the money.  Interesting, huh?

My conclusions seem to correlate with the findings in this CNN Money article,  How much do you need to be happy?

Most people know in their heart of hearts that making gobs of money can't guarantee true happiness.

Then again, most would acknowledge that you need to have at least a minimum income for a shot at well-being - if only so you don't have to scrounge for every meal.
In between gobs and a bare minimum, of course, is where most of us live.
And it turns out many Americans don't think they need a CEO paycheck to be happy, or even six figures.
When asked how much would do the trick, just over half of people surveyed in CNNMoney's American Dream poll said it would take less than $100,000.
Nearly a quarter of the people who took the poll, conducted by ORC International, said between $50,000 and $74,999 would work. That calls to mind the results of a Princeton study, which found that emotional well being rose with income, but not much beyond $75,000.
In other words, past a certain income level, your happiness comes from other factors.

Does Money Create Happiness?

Does money create happiness?  Yes, I think to some extent it does.  Or at least the converse is true.  Lack of money can create unhappiness.  But how much money do we need to be happy?  Does more money always make us happy?  Is there a point of diminishing returns, where after a certain amount more money only makes you marginally happier? Or at some point does making more money actually make you unhappy?  Maybe the cost of making or having more money is too great. 

What is happiness?  And what role does money play in it?  Merriam-Webster define happiness as "a state of well-being and contentment :  joy".  For that reason I believe having enough money to provide for my daily needs creates happiness or a state of well-being.  Having more money than I need for just my daily existence also provides happiness.  I'm in a state of well-being when I have enough money to create savings.  Money gives me options & freedom. There is a contentment that comes from having enough to spend on non-essentials.  If I don't have enough money, I can't buy the supplies to create my gardens.  My vegetable, herb and flower gardens create happiness for me.  I also derive a immense amount of happiness from being out West in the mountains.  I love the scenery and having the opportunity to hike in its splendor.  Money makes that happiness possible.  

So, yes I do think that money plays a role in happiness.  I want to explore this further in upcoming posts because I don't think that there's really a simple YES or NO answer.  What are your thoughts?

5 Simple Ways to Make Someone Happy for FREE

HAPPINESS.... It's something that we all want and work to achieve.  I think sometimes we can have a moment of happiness by making someone else happy.  And it doesn't have to take a lot of time, effort or money.  Here's 5 ways to make someone happy for free:

1. Smile.  It's as simple as that.  Smile at the people that you walk past.  I run in the mornings in one of our local parks.  I make a point of smiling at everyone that I see and I say, "Good Morning!"  They usually smile and return the greeting.  It's a small thing but for that brief moment they have a smile on their face.  They're happy for that moment.
2. Hit the 'Like' button on some one's Facebook post.  Be honest.  We all want comments and others to 'Like' our posts.  So make someone happy by "Liking" their post.  It's so simple!  You're on Facebook anyway.  Just hit the "Like" button on a post or two.
3. Give away some of your harvest.  Are you a gardener?  If so, give away some of your harvest.  You probably have an abundance of whatever crop is in season.  Why not share some of it to make someone happy?  This past week I was able to give away some of my lettuce to two different people.  I saw smiles on their faces when I gave it to them so I know they were happy at that moment.  One of the recipients sent me a text later that said "Your lettuce is soooo good. I wish I lived next door." Again I created a happy moment for them when they ate the lettuce. 
4. Compliment someone.  Who doesn't like a compliment?  This is a very simple thing to do.  It doesn't even take much effort.  Too often, I'm guilty of  not doing it for some reason.  I've been at a lunch with a friend and spent the whole time admiring her hair or outfit but for some reason I never mention it.  Why?  I don't know!  Maybe the flow of conversation didn't make it easy.  But really, everyone likes a compliment and it's an easy way to put a smile on some one's face.  Just say, "I like your haircut." or "That's a beautiful necklace."  It's even better if you can compliment them on themselves.  "You're so talented!" "You're a great mom!"  Just make them feel good about themselves for a moment.  And think about it.  If someone has given you a compliment, you remember it.  It usually makes you day.
5. Send a text message.  Send someone a quick text message.  Maybe you just say, "Hi! I was thinking of you.  Hope your day is going well!"  Or if you know they need encouragement in a particular area of their life, send that encouragement.  We all like to know we're thought of.  I think of people all throughout the day, but I'm not very good about letting those folks know I thought of them.  But on those occasions that I have stopped and sent the text, I always receive a positive response.  I'm pretty sure that I created a brief happy moment for them.

While this list is about making others happy, I start to realize doing each of these things makes me happy, too.  Let's work on creating an abundance of happy moments.  What can you add to this list? 

God's Direction

I've written several posts about my favorite bible verse:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.   Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV

This morning during my devotional time, I read this verse:

 In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.  Proverbs 16:9  NIV

The King James Version is

A man's heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps.  Proverbs 16:9 KJV

Again  I was reminded that God will direct my path.  Yet, I have a role to play.  We're not just puppets or robots with no control over our lives.  We can't just be passive and wait for God to lead us down the path.  No, we need to plan our course according to our heart's desire.  Then we need to trust and let God work out the details.  Sometimes we don't always realize that we've had His direction at the time but when we look back it can be pretty evident that He truly did direct our steps.

Happiness is my Current Theme

Sometimes it feels like my life has themes.  And during a particular theme, I'm bombarded with messages relating to that theme.  I believe that these themes are something that I'm supposed to learn about at that particular time in my life.  A few years ago, the theme was TRUST.   Everything I saw or read seemed to be about trust.  I really worked at learning to "Trust in the Lord with all my heart." 

Most recently the theme is HAPPINESS. During this theme I discovered Nataly Kogan's website, Happier, which I've written about in earlier posts.  Since that time, I've really tried to focus on Nataly's advice to create and collect happy moments.  This has made me more conscious of those moments and consequently more aware of what makes me happy.  Sometimes it's just that fleeting moment that I look over at my sleeping cat and realize that I'm smiling and feeling the love that I have for him.  That's a happy moment!    What are your happy moments?

Rejoice

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 

Philipians 4:4 NIV

This verse has been in my head all morning.  Rejoice!  What a wonderful and uplifting word.  I don't think that you can say it with a frown on your face.  Just saying it is uplifting.  Miriam-Webster defines rejoice as "to feel or show that you are very happy about something". Are you happy in the Lord?  Do you show it? 
 
We have so much to rejoice about!  If you're reading this, you're alive.  Rejoice!  If you're reading this, you have your sight.  Rejoice!  Our blessings are abundant and come from God, the creator.  Rejoice!  It's easy to get mired in the details of everyday life.  It's easy to let frustrations get the best of us.  But God wants us to be joyful & happy.  Let's make an effort to Rejoice!  Again Rejoice!